mixed bag

These last few weeks, I've swung from low to high and back again. Nothing actually diagnosable, just the mostly normal swing between emotions in an emotional period for our family. This weekend was no exception. So being a bit behind, a bit latter than I should be seems to be a trend for me. Usually it's for something small and easy to laugh off. Ocho de mayo, I'm a comedian. Five minutes late to meet friends, no biggie Vix is always a bit late. Missing a phone interview, not funny at all. Except that's exactly what I did on Friday. 

I'd been sick for about 24 hours and was totally not in a normal mind set. I also didn't sleep much and had no concept of time. So when I couldn't stay awake and started to doze off my sick brain thought taking my nap to my bed was a good idea. Real me should have recognized that I was supposed to be calling in for a phone interview. Sick me slept through several phones calls from my family asking how it went. 

The really good news is that my phone and email apologizes worked and I was able to reschedule the call for Sunday. Turned out to not be an interview per say, but the highly influential person my call was with has now sent out my resume to a bunch of other influential people in the non-profit/social work area in Miami. Fingers crossed something pans out. Someone knows someone that knows someone that gets my resume to the right person and I get considered for something. 

In the past 48 hours I went from (being sick) extreme dread over making such a big mistake, panic over the thought that I'll never find work when I move down to Miami, and then all the way back to hopeful that things will work out. 

A funny anecdote: A friend (haha not at all) My current boss told me that me not finding anything yet must be a sign, that what's out there isn't meant to be and my real meant to be job will come. 

Maybe she's right. But Mama needs some money coming in, so a little bit of "transition" time where I'm looking for work is to be expected. It's the long term "oh crap with this economy I haven't found a job and may not for a while" that's getting me freaked out. I'm not sure how long we can swing living off of one income and living with my parents. (You know the shame not necessarily just the financials, I do not want to be the unemployed deadbeat living with my parents forever.)