it's a good thing I'm an only child

Because if I weren't I think I'd have developed a complex by now. Why you ask? Because two of Hubby's three younger siblings are preggo right now! As in his 24 year old sister is married and 5 months pregnant with her second child and her first is eight months old. And his 21 year old brother is getting married in two months and just found out they're pregnant. I cannot tell you how incredibly proud I am of his last sister who's not pregnant, despite all of her friends having had kids (with deadbeat dads of course). 

I'm super proud of Hubby and his accomplishments, he's the only one of his siblings to go to college and then of course the only one to get a graduate degree. On the flip side, he's the second to get married. And we'll be the third (probably, out of four in total) to have kids. Hubby says he doesn't care, doesn't see any reason to compare himself to anyone let alone his siblings. I kind of believe him. I've got no one to "compete" with and I'm still stressing about our "position" among his siblings about these big life moments. 

I'm not trying to be judgmental, I mean I know I am, but I know my feelings don't apply to everyone and every situation. I just feel kind of strongly about his siblings and the major life decisions they're making and the utter likelihood that they'll end in a fiery plane crash of a disaster.

To get a bit personal (like I haven't already?!) it makes me wonder how so many people make seemingly bad decisions and yet life works out for them. (Why yes being poor and having no support let's plan to have a child and manipulate things to use government aid in all of this, that's a great plan! I will never say, EVER.) Hubby and I always make the rational, adult, right decision and while our life is great it seems to take us so much struggle to get what we have. You know it's the usual "the grass is greener" and "I want to be part of the popular group" mentality. Why can't we just be a part of the popular group!?! Okay, yes I can get over myself, sorry!

I should also say that all of Hubby's siblings are half siblings and he spent significantly more time with his younger sister (the not pregnant and not married sister) than he did with his other sister and brother. Rationally I think said sister and brother see Hubby as more of a cousin than a sibling. That makes sense considering they don't speak, no phone calls or cards or emails or facebook messages. Neither of them attended our wedding (they were invited with almost a year notice). His sister never told us she got married and we found out about her being pregnant (both times) from Hubby's Mom. We found out his brother was dating a girl and got engaged, and then just this week found out they're pregnant all (yep you guessed it) from his Mom and not actually his brother. You know, the opposite of "normal" sibling things.

This was supposed to be a comical announcement of my almost not really freak out. And thanking (for once) I'm an only child. Sorry it turned in to a bit of a ranting vent. Anyone out there experiencing anything similar?

so long, farewell ...

aufidersen, goodnight! So it's so long to the place I've called home for the past 9 years. There are an aweful lot of memories in this town. So here's an ode to my past 9 years. 

Crazy undergrad times spent with friends at house parties.

I may not be a drinker but I totally went out of my comfort zone (yes it took me a full year in college to get there, whatever) and went to wild and crazy parties and let loose and was silly as only an 18 year old can be. 

Personal picture

Crane made from the paper tablecloth at my 21st birthday dinner

I surrounded myself with funny, fun, and amazing friends. Who for example saw the paper tablecloth at the restaurant and decided it clearly was meant for a giant origami piece.

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Hubby as a baby (seriously he looks so young!) taking part in a donut eating contest

Again, crazy antics only a stupid college kid would come up with. But oh the fun we had! 

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Hubby's present to me for our first anniversary, my first Christmas tree.

I literally spent more time at Hubby's apartment than I did my own. (Partly due to loving him, becoming best friends with his roommate, and also because my roommates were hideous human beings I wanted to be far, far away from whenever possible.)

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Zoe when she was just a few months old, when all of her toys were bigger than she was

Moving in with my boyfriend, getting a dog, and pretending like I had everything all together when really I knew nothing.

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Two graduation and two walks across the stage for a diploma from FSU

I earned my bachelor's degree in three years and went straight into graduate school. In 5 years total I'd earned both a bachelors and masters degrees.

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Becoming a full time social worker

Source: FSU CSW

I sort of stumbled onto social work but once I found it I fell in love, and in this town I became a full fledged social worker. (All thanks to this program, partly from my education and also because they told me about the job opening that I later wound up getting.) 

In my nine years I moved seven times to six different homes (dorm rooms, apartments, townhouses), three of which I lived with Hubby in. I went from being a scared 18 year old very far away from home, to becoming more comfortable with myself and making new friends, meeting Hubby and falling in love, and now being a more mature and more comfortable with myself adult twentysomething that's a social worker and wife (and dog Mom). For as much as I grew up in Miami as a child I grew up in this town. I learned more than I could have imagined, been through more than I could have guessed, but also grown and loved more than I could have hoped. 

So long Tallahassee, it's been fun! 

Now on to Miami, again....

Honoring and Remembering

Happy Memorial Day interwebz!

Source: via pinterest via Howtoforless

Thank you to all that have and currently serve, who sacrifice so much to protect us. Also to the families of those that serve, you sacrifice as well and that deserves recognition as well!

walking off the edge

I am not a leap first and look second kind of girl. I'm the girl that stands 100 feet from the edge, looks around, looks to see all the paths I could take (even if I think I want to leap off, not like I actually would), considers all my options, and then carefully makes a decision. 

So this whole Miami move, it's killing me. As much as it was a "no brainer" decision it's a big leap and it's a larger leap than I've taken in a while, actually maybe ever. My plans for this whole move and re-start are vague at best. That's mostly because we can't plan. We don't know what it'll be like and we won't know until we're living it. 

Source: pinterest via unknown

So here I am, about to leap walk over the edge of this cliff, hoping for the best and willing to just jump.

Source: pinterest via unknown

The next few days (and weeks) are going to be ... crazy. I'll share the highlights once it's all said and done. Until then, be safe and happy and seriously send good thoughts my way! 

high five for friday

Source: pinterest via unknown

one. My very last full week of work at my office. So bizarre, surreal but also wonderful! (Soon, I'll be with Hubby)
two. I packed a little. Some how spurts of inspiration motivation hit and I packed a little. We're talking just a handful of boxes but something, anything still counts!
three. My last dental clinic. I run one every other month and it worked perfectly that there was one last clinic just before I leave. I get to say goodbye in person to so many people I've worked with these past four years!
four. baking, that's my way of saying "thanks for everything. I love you and I'll miss you" I've got all of these recipes I plan on making before going, not exactly with a plan of when and why I should be diving out the baked good love. 
five. There's only five days left before Hubby arrives. That's worth celebration all on it's own!

And just because I can't help myself, I saw this today and laughed, because it's true. And it's what I'm about to be in the middle of! Gotta laugh, that's much better than crying!

Source: someecards

 

linked up to Lauren/frommygreydeskblog's High Five For Friday

mixed bag

These last few weeks, I've swung from low to high and back again. Nothing actually diagnosable, just the mostly normal swing between emotions in an emotional period for our family. This weekend was no exception. So being a bit behind, a bit latter than I should be seems to be a trend for me. Usually it's for something small and easy to laugh off. Ocho de mayo, I'm a comedian. Five minutes late to meet friends, no biggie Vix is always a bit late. Missing a phone interview, not funny at all. Except that's exactly what I did on Friday. 

I'd been sick for about 24 hours and was totally not in a normal mind set. I also didn't sleep much and had no concept of time. So when I couldn't stay awake and started to doze off my sick brain thought taking my nap to my bed was a good idea. Real me should have recognized that I was supposed to be calling in for a phone interview. Sick me slept through several phones calls from my family asking how it went. 

The really good news is that my phone and email apologizes worked and I was able to reschedule the call for Sunday. Turned out to not be an interview per say, but the highly influential person my call was with has now sent out my resume to a bunch of other influential people in the non-profit/social work area in Miami. Fingers crossed something pans out. Someone knows someone that knows someone that gets my resume to the right person and I get considered for something. 

In the past 48 hours I went from (being sick) extreme dread over making such a big mistake, panic over the thought that I'll never find work when I move down to Miami, and then all the way back to hopeful that things will work out. 

A funny anecdote: A friend (haha not at all) My current boss told me that me not finding anything yet must be a sign, that what's out there isn't meant to be and my real meant to be job will come. 

Maybe she's right. But Mama needs some money coming in, so a little bit of "transition" time where I'm looking for work is to be expected. It's the long term "oh crap with this economy I haven't found a job and may not for a while" that's getting me freaked out. I'm not sure how long we can swing living off of one income and living with my parents. (You know the shame not necessarily just the financials, I do not want to be the unemployed deadbeat living with my parents forever.) 

happy ocho de mayo!

Yeah so it's a few days after Cinco de Mayo. I totally didn't celebrate, as much as being a fun drunk seems to be for everyone else, I'm just not that girl. It was kind of a chores day. I did laundry. I bathed Zoe. I did 80% of a hair cut on Zoe (see previous posts about hair cuts for Zoe, it's a frustrating and long drawn out process). Then I worked a party a friend threw for her Mom, so it would go well and she wouldn't have to worry. (But I worked my butt off.) Then I came home, exhausted, and tried to relax. But I remembered I had to try to get in Cinco de Mayo shots of Zoe wearing her hat. Dear lord, when we packed things up with Hubby's move I made him let me keep it. I knew exactly where it was, despite the rest of my house being a mess mid packing/move right now. 

It didn't work out well, she was already "traumatized" from the bath and hair cut earlier in the day. She flipped out whenever I put the hat on her. And this is the girl that never liked it before but just sat there and dealt with it every other year, knowing it'd be over soon. Anyway, this was the disastrous photshoot. Enjoy (even if it's a few days late)!

Really, we're really going this?!?

Is it over yet?

Happy freaking cinco de mayo. The END, I'm done. Put the phone down!